Welcome to Room L124

You have reached the website of Mrs. Clark, Biology teacher at Portage Northern High School.

My Class Schedule:

7:40-8:30            1st Hour        Anatomy
8:35-9:25            2nd Hour       Seminar
9:30-10:20          3rd Hour        Honors Biology
10:25-11:17        4th Hour        Honors Biology
11:57-12:47        5th Hour        Plan
12:52-1:43          6th Hour        IB Biology
1:48-2:40            7th Hour        Honors Biology

Contact Information:
Phone Number: 323-5531
Email Address: jclark1@portageps.org

If you have any questions or concerns, please call or email me. Remember, I am teaching and interacting with the students during the school day so I take calls before or after school. Email is welcome anytime throughout the day, but will only be checked before and after school. If there is an emergency, please contact the office at 323-5400. Thanks!

Daily Overview

Science News for Students

“It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all–in which case, you fail by default.”

- J.K. Rowling

Science Phenomenon Website

Things to Ponder:                                                                   


  • If you have to tell people you have swag, even once, you clearly don’t.
  • Only you can prevent forest fires. So if there’s a forest fire, it is all your fault.
  • The peanut is neither a pea, nor a nut.
  • You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can’t pick your friend’s nose.
  • Say no to crack. Whether that means “don’t do drugs” or “pull up your pants”, this is useful to hear.
  • If you find a worm in your apple, be thankful you found the whole thing and not just half.
  • If it sticks and shouldn’t, use WD-40. If it doesn’t stick and should, use duct tape.
  • Being the best in the world is less valuable than being the best for the world.
  • If you ever drop your keys in lava, let them go. Because, man, they’re gone.
Silly Science Puns

When chemists die, they barium.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Than it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type-O.
PMS jokes aren't funny, period.
Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.
Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.
Energizer bunny arrested. Charged with battery.
I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me !
Broken pencils are pointless.
I tried to catch some fog. I mist.
What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on.
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

Velcro - what a rip off !

Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.

Venison for dinner? Oh deer !

Earthquake in Washington obviously government's fault.

Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.

Never fall in love with a tennis player because to a tennis player, love means nothing