You have reached the website of Mrs. Clark, Biology teacher at Portage Northern High School.
My Class Schedule: 7:40-8:30 1st Hour Anatomy 8:35-9:25 2nd Hour Seminar 9:30-10:20 3rd Hour Honors Biology 10:25-11:17 4th Hour Honors Biology Lunch 11:57-12:47 5th Hour Plan 12:52-1:43 6th Hour IB Biology 1:48-2:40 7th Hour Honors Biology ![]() | Contact Information: Phone Number: 323-5531 Email Address: jclark1@portageps.org If you have any questions or concerns, please call or email me. Remember, I am teaching and interacting with the students during the school day so I take calls before or after school. Email is welcome anytime throughout the day, but will only be checked before and after school. If there is an emergency, please contact the office at 323-5400. Thanks! “It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all–in which case, you fail by default.”
- J.K. Rowling Things to Ponder:
Silly Science Puns When chemists die, they barium. Jokes about German sausage are the wurst. A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran. I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time. How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it. I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Than it dawned on me. This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down. I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words. They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type-O. PMS jokes aren't funny, period. Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations. Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz. Energizer bunny arrested. Charged with battery. I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me. Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils? What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me ! Broken pencils are pointless. I tried to catch some fog. I mist. What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus. England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool. I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest. I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx. All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on. I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough. Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes. Velcro - what a rip off ! Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy. Venison for dinner? Oh deer ! Earthquake in Washington obviously government's fault. Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too. Never fall in love with a tennis player because to a tennis player, love means nothing |